MY THIRD RETROSPECTION

October was all about change and friendship. Not only had I again to say my goodbyes to people that found their way into my heart, but I also met PEOPLE. Meaning consistent people.

Okay this sounds a bit sympathetic but let´s start from the beginning of this adventurous month.

The last month ended with my two-week vacation in Poland where in the last week in Krakow with my family I met a guy from Australia. I honestly have to say when looking back right now, that I believe it was a moment destined to happen.

Since I encountered the severeness of loneliness, I started to see it for what it is: terrible. This also means henceforth that every time I see a person alone, I no longer think him or her weird instead I feel a sudden urge to integrate that person in whatever way possible. I mean it is one thing to go with the person´s attitude and believe that he or she chose to be alone but another thing to see the person for what he or she is: lonely.

Saying it differently – when do we ever really want to be alone? To be honest, rarely. In the beginning the thought of being alone and with that the quiet and the silence, might be all something we seek but surely after having watched the movie “Die Wand” and having experienced a few days completely on my own, I can surely say this is not what I want. After all humans are social creatures.

So how did I get to know the person from Australia? Well I saw him, saw that he was alone, saw that he was travelling alone and kind of clung to him. Or maybe we clung to each other, whatever way we want to look at it.

When he visited me in Gdansk later, I can only say that he was the beginning of a wonderful time and the start to a new life in Poland.

Because as a matter of fact, during the same time I found my way into a church quire. Which turned out to be my way of joining Poland´s society, finally. This also meant the start of my own private and social life.

Of course, next to these very interesting new aspects, I still had work to do. In total, this meant four different groups arriving in that whole month and one forum in Krzyżowa. My work also included again very inspiring conversations, lectures and things I learned for life.

1. That the education and raising of a child decides a lot of who that person will be going to be.

2. That every person has good and bad character traits and that we are never black or white. This also goes for feelings. Without loneliness I would maybe have never gone to church and in this way would have never found the quire.

3. That I surely later want to give my experience or sight on the world to other people however that might look like.

All in all, the small things make my day in these projects. The good feedback of the adolescents. The moment they start to call your name because they need your help. The moment when they are gossiping with you about the cutest boys of the Polish group. The silent conversations in which you feel that you might have left something of you with them.

I honestly have to say that this time was like a domino effect. My family and friends gave me new energy and optimism that I don´t need to be alone and they set the first stone of a bridge that started to build itself between me and the society.

Maybe this is the most fatal thing about loneliness, we get stuck in that unsatisfying and negative feeling and we are to blind to see a way out.

At the end of the day this means for us that loneliness can be only overcome with loneliness because you find others who feel the same way as you and hopefully that will make you connect.

When we look at it more closely, we all want to leave a mark and feel needed. And we often forget how much a small smile, a compliment or just a word can make our day and change the way we look at things.

It is not directly about finding friends. It is about leaving a mark and being seen. And I, to my luck, was finally seen. And at the same time, I saw things for myself.

I saw that children are the future. When I give my love to them. They give theirs to me.