Foreign Tamed

In Berlin it is more unusual to be local than foreign. To impress someone with your nationality, you'd have to invent a new country or come from outer space. Even then I am not sure, if anyone would bother.

- I am a Berliner, born and raised.
- Reeeealy? How comes?

I am from Neukölln now, so I probably prefer Klunkenkranich from Stadtbad (though a party tour to Wedding won't hurt on Friday night). What actually constitutes your identity in the city, is your district. Common knowledge is that people from Kreuzberg are different than people from Lichtenberg, while Schöneberg has the type of hype that both would rather not buy.  The only way to become local is to settle around your Kiez and find similarly-looking people you can hang around with.

- Ich hätte gerne ein Bier.
- How many beers?

There comes a day you find soulmates, partymates or you just get closer with your workmates, so time to go to a club, pub, bar, open-air or a concert. Your German is already communicative, nevertheless you start talking and bartenders instantly hear slight tremble of your voice and they switch to English. Your motivation to learn is gone. Who cares, everyone speaks here English anyway. And btw. Turkish is more useful, at least you can bargain at shops and get free baklava for making the effort.

- Hallo, mein Name ist Marta...
- Sprechen Sie zufällig Polnisch? Dzień dobry!

No matter how hard you try to hide, they will always find you. Fellow countrymen. To socialize or not to socialize with them? This is the Question. On one hand, the purpose of your stay abroad is to distance yourself from problems, people, narratives, familiarity... Suspicion arises. On the other hand... Where are you living, fellow countrymen? – question that needs to be asked. In Neukölln too - there comes an answer. There will be friendship.

- Hi, I have found your offer online and it seems that your apartment is exactly what I am looking for. Can I come by and take a look at it?
- Do you have a scan of your ID, Schufa Nachweis, Mietschuldefreiheitbescheinigung, Arbeitsvertrag and income above 1500 euro?
- I do have an ID…

Finally there comes a proof that I am actually abroad. Already in the beginning, I’ve had to register at the City Council to open a bank account and to register I had to show my tenancy agreement, though that’s a trifle in comparison to an administrative jungle you have to get through proving yourself not-a-thief enough to have a roof over your head. Worse tenants are Bosnian, than Italians, and then Poles. Though I must admit it has changed slightly in the recent years – a fellow ‘actually already German’ countrymen - estate agent informed me while concluding our Mietvertrag.

- How much does it take to get from Cologne to Warsaw? You can get there on one TANK. Hahahahaha...
- ...

In moments like that I can’t stop thinking that witlessness is the most universal of all skills and the longer I’m living abroad the more convinced I become there is no remedy for blissful ignorance. Neither education nor religion or moral code can solve the problem. Witlessness will always find a way to present itself in its brightest colours. Mobility only opens new perspectives for bad jokes, you will never get away.

- How’s living in Nazi-land? Did you meet any pretty German girl?
- ...

Reflections on coming back faded away for long. Hearing such words makes you realize how great a change you’ve been through in the last months. I am coming back ‘home’ to Poland having more and more topics to avoid.

For me being foreign is a constant feeling and a process. Feeling – whenever I am leaving Neukölln, going back to Poland,  heading to a new city, country or meeting another human being. Process – I am taming foreign and I feel more and more self-aware, confident and secure among differences. Berlins’ residents are living the differences, dealing with cultural shock on the daily basis. At some point different becomes natural, foreign negligible and your German confident enough to convince a bartender.