ESC RUINED MY LIFE

Broken leg, destroyed dreams, uncompleted ideas, sleepless nights, evenings full of tears, 2 times culture shock …ESC RUINED my life.

Were you here to hear standard texts like, “ I am so thankful to ESC, because due to this experience I became more creative , I discovered myself in a new way, I made lifelong friends, I learnt many new things and the most important became more European?

Skip reading! Immediately! Are you still here? Then, los geht’s.

Months ago (have never been good at memory) I or more precisely my airplane landed in Schönefeld airport. If you don’t know, Schönefeld is in Berlin, more possibly you know that Berlin is the capital of Germany but hardly you know that Berlin is the capital of my Dreamland. Of course, you don’t know, as you don’t know me and if the title of the article was another one, maybe you would never know.

I broke my leg in the beginning of my ESC, because I fell down from a bike while learning how to ride. Those, who have said ha.. ha… ha and don’t know that in some countries bicycles are not common at all, I want to say ha.. ha..ha. You are lucky, guys. Learning to ride a bike when you are an adult is like learning to speak Chinese, when you are 70. You are right , it is possible , but difficult. Without riding a bike one can live , but without knowing to fall and rise, hardly. I rose and I still can’t ride a bike. I WON. When I feel sure , that my leg is safe, I will try riding a bike again and again, maybe one day you will see me in a championship of bicycle riders or maybe while lying on the street next to a bicycle, but anyway you will see me with this << two-wale monster>>, come to me and say that you also want to know how to enjoy failing. How to be sure that it is me ? From the happiness on my face. I will be happy, because I double Won.

Do you think that leaving my country, my family, all my friends, my studies, good job and youhuuuu the favorite comfort zone was just for fun? Then once again skip reading!

You know what were the first searches on Google that I made? Is fried oil Restmüll? How to understand the difference between Ubahn, Sbahn, train, how to orientate, how to pronounce Schmeterrling? Pretty cool, isn’t it. Let me be honest while running for the trains, crying in the stations, I discovered myself , I discovered myself when lying on the floor shouting because of pain, I saw my friend Rita running to bring ice, I discovered myself when I realized that there are unexpected feelings, that don’t have any names or titles. I discovered myself when due to some situations I realized that I was not really who I thought I was (this was a painful discovery). 

Do you want to read that you will have no problems, you will meet just great people, you will never be disappointed and sad? You know what, I don’t want you to skip, honestly, I have opened myself to you, so you are important to me now.

I cried here 8 times (without counting the onion cutting cases). I will speak about two cases. On the way back to home from Italy together with my best friend Janina (I call her Janka) with 0* outside in the darkness, with heavy bags failing to reach any taxi, we were walking to home through a way next to a forest (If you know what this means). It was terribly cold and I was telling Janka that I was not continually crying , that it was just the wind. Now she will read that it was not the wind, it was the happiness. When you sing <<kling glockchen , klingelingeling>> and your lips are trembling , you realize , that just now you are becoming better and stronger . I just cried once again, while reading this to Janka.

The last << if you want to read>> will be…

Travelling, new friends, foreign languages, new cultures, new skills, new experiences? Why not? I visited more than 15 cities, 4 countries, made amazing friends, finished 5 stories, started 10 new ones, learnt German, improved Russian, get acquainted with Belarusian, Romanian, German, Polish, Italian, Czech, French  and many other cultures, I participated in a photo competition with my friend, won it, participated in coolest workshops, gave up bad habits, gained good ones, became punctual ( I am not kidding), improved cooking, baking skills, opened an Instagram account with Janka (WG kitchen and lifestyle, by the way you can follow us): ) and there are yet months waiting to be filled with new experiences…

But my story is not about all this, it is about getting lost in the stations, breaking leg, facing hardships, it is about destroying ideas that you never questioned, destroying dreams that were fakes , as once we were afraid to realize the real ones, it is about ruining our life that was full of fears, stereotypes, complexes to fill it with love, respect, friendship, honesty, strength, ability to fail, emotional intelligence, empathy, support, solidarity and happiness…

And if I say thank you , I say thank you for ruining my life. I say thank you for Janka, Rita, Anna, Rasha, for all my crazy friends and for giving me a chance to know who I was, who I am and who I am striving to be  .  And I say hey hey, hey , hey what is going on?(Sing this part!).