Into the Wild

So… that will be story about my volunteer Service. For a long time I know, that things that are coming to us ….everything has it is own reason. I was exited to discover EVS, as I am from Russia… sorry, here I have to tell something about me. Otherwise it is not interesting to read the story  from anonym.My name is Olya.  I studied in Russia. And was born there as well. I studied and studied, and studied again. After University  I worked in different jobs. But always something connected to the Art. My last and partly current job is to make the Radio program with people, who make documentary movies. I worked in all types of Mass Media, because being journalist is one of my professions. But I discovered  that kind of jobs  a bit unuseful, if  the main aim is not to tell truth and not to help people with  information…

So, I worked a lot on TV. Actually, now I am 29 years old.  But there was one day, when I told   myself  «stop». Stop wasting your time. Stop wasting your youth. And stop wasting your skills. I made the TV magazine about guns at that time. It was ok, when the question was about money, but not so ok, when it was about my Soul. Because we are here on the Beautiful Earth  for the reason - to be happy. And I really, really believe in it. So, there was a huge collapse inside me at that moment. But after  I took all the courage into the  fist and decided to become a freelancer. So, from that moment everything was depend only on me. And would love to mention one more time, that I am from Russia, that amazing country, where everything is possible. Even something unimpossible is possible. It was hard to work in Russia. But I love my country. And, somehow I am  proud to be part of that big culture. So, that was the story before EVS.

And after quit the job  I travelled  for 6 months from India to Vladivostok (My native town) by land. Lived in Temples, in small places for poor people, was trying to understand the Nature of  another incredible country – India. It was amazing trip and big lesson of accepting things as they are. And people as well. It is impossible to change someone without his own wish. And at that moment I thought, ok, I still young enough to make the Volunteering Service in other country.

Also before and after that big trip life introduced me with the Camphill in Russia. That was blessing of the God. Camphill it is part of Anthroposophy movement,  where handicapped people life in the common society with others. Without any boarders. Of cause people who work there, they help and make a lot of lessons for developing  skills of that one, who are in need.  But the main treasure that I found there -  LOVE. Not only words. And not that kind of egoistic love, when people want many things from each other , but another pure feeling.  When a guy with a Syndrome Down is coming to you, hugs and says: “I love  you so much”. And you know, that that is true. There are no games and no masks, that we usually put on in our daily life. That is clear. I felt that I am one of them. May be that is why it always was not so easy to deal with material world…  But I am happy. Of being  I am as I am. Strong enough to go for new experience and try to help people. So, we became friends with that village and after I began to make the movie…. But that is a bit another story.

Just the Camphill was… it was not even step, it was some kind of jump for greeting  kindness to my life.

And  then I applied for EVS.  I was thinking…ok, let’s try that interesting thing. But at the beginning thought, that I am too old.  I applied and got 3 answers, from  different projects and countries:

Circus in Hungary, Ecological school in Germany, Democracy center in Romania.

I was very close to choose the Circus, but then I thought… ok. German language  could be interesting. And  to work with  children as well. And I agreed for Germany.  For the first time I came to the small village in Saxony (where suppose to be my project) in November 2013. Two months before  the beginning of the Program itself. And that was something strange. I have good intuition and usually try to listen my feelings. That time it was very, very and very strange. It was nice place, very nice.  But no one could speak English, just one person. Who is the director of the School, where I supposed to work. It was November, cold weather… and mood was not so nice as well. In August 2013 my brother died and it was one of that big rings… that  you can not  take out from your head… you begin to think a lot about what and how you could do in different…. And  you just begin to live in the past. Not in the future. Not in NOW.  So, it was really hard emotional time. And I decided, YES. I will come to  small village Zethau, almost in the middle of nowhere. Let’s see what will life bring to me, after making that  step. Step into the Wild. Somehow…

Grüne Schule grenzenlos – that is the name of the project, where I am at the moment. That is school, that based on ecological studies. That is nice  idea… and many interesting  occupations for children.

But the difficulties appeared  for me from the beginning. And that was very interesting.  So,  after discovering the village, the room and the place, where I supposed to be for 1 year, I took the contract with me and went back home , to St.Petersburg.

The next step was – to get Visa. I am Russian and need visa almost for the whole world. At the moment I have been in around 40 countries… so, really know what is it.  In the German embassy man told me… where are you going and why? He looked at me very suspicious. I was trying to explain to him, that I am going to Zethau as volunteer.. that that is small village in the Saxony region. And he was almost screaming: Village? Zittau Is a village for you? I answered “yes”, there are only around 1000 people.   From the school I got the brochure about School  and gave it to him. And then he was surprised… that there is another Zethau. And that it is  really village.  So, I think that may be he had just unlucky day and  I was just at wrong time  and  wrong place. So, he looked at the Contract and asked me, why  was it in English, if I am invited by the german  organization?

So, that was  rather interesting question. And I did not have answer. And he  asked me to bring the Document in German language and come again. And at the end of our conversation, he  shared his thoughts, that I just want to marry in Germany. So, it was really rude. And I was almost crying after all that situation.  That was the second ring for me.. that something is wrong with my ideas for the future life. But it was almost like in movie. I send the email to the German side, they translated   pages from English to German and send me back… but  not the whole Document was in English. Only part, that explains what I have to do in School. May be they did it for me, because at the beginning I could understand absolutely nothing in German. The second  try was not successful again. The men from the Embassy told, that I do not have any proof, that  the text is written by the school… and send me away again. But that time he told me, that If I would come again with the same Documents he will deport me from EU. It was  very strange. Just things, that are without logic. And the thing, that at that moment you understand, that your rights… as a Person they are a bit infringed. But as that man was part of the Institution, and me not. There was no other solution -  then just to listen and to agree. But at that moment I was very close to  surrender. So, I called my friend. Who lives in Berlin and  told him everything. I was crying. And  he called the director of the school, told him the story and they found the solution – to talk with the council directly.  Also I got the paper from the Jugen in Action program with the explanation what is EVS and that I really part of that. So… the story supposed to be interesting. I was very afraid to go the Embassy again. But as they told me.. that the Council knows about me and he is waiting for my coming. I decided to do it. So, that day was lucky enough, because that man,  who wanted to deport me was not in the office. And they took  all my papers.  But that was not so easy – to go to the small village in the middle of nowhere. Want to mention, that  month later, the Council called again and apologized for the behavior of that employer, who was s rude with me.

That was just the beginning.  What is my EVS? It is nice. I am making photos and movies with children. But. I still do not speak german language ad it is really hard in communication.

There are 15 km  to the next big city Freiberg… and 70 km to Dresden. I came here in Winter, then was Spring, now Summer and soon will be Autumn. When I want to go  to Freiberg, usually I hitch- hike. There are only 4 buses a day. And the last one goes at 16.00. In Summer I could use bicycle, but then I fell down from it and hearted myself strongly.

To be here is not so easy only because of being far away from everything… but also feeling very lonely. There are other volunteers, but we are different. We are comrades, but our relations are not so close. All other  volunteers are from Chech Republik. Again I feel myself  as the minority. And slowly learning German and trying to understand Chech…  

For many young people EVS is the  new experience… to discover something new and  know something more about the world. For me to live in the small village without not so many people surrounded me… it is the lesson to discover more about myself. And  the opportunity to build my own personality. To come closer to such things as: understanding of  other people, or even to  know how to accept things without understanding. Now I more often ask the question “What for?” instead of “Why?”. And as we all have a lot of noise on our minds… to live in the calm place, almost in the forest, it very useful time. 

There are 2 lighthouses for me: my neighbor, his name is Berthram, he makes beautiful ceramic things and Renate, we work together. She is like mother for me. As I do not have tutor, she helps  with everything… sometimes I even cry on her shoulder. So, It is blessing by God to be at the moment where I am… and what I am.

And the greatest lesson from EVS for me  is – to be responsible for our decisions. There were few moments in that 6 months, that I was very close to quit the project. BUT…. when we are running from the problems, they will reach us again. That is not the solution. And to become flexible enough… to be able to deal with things, that seemed to be problems before… that is the Solution.

Things here sometimes are very complicated, but facing them is the lesson how to be patient. Sometimes it  is very lonely, at these moments I am learning  to be thankful to the friends which I have, even they are very far away at the moment. As you see, I am optimist. And would love to say THANKS A LOT for all people, who  created that program  and gave the opportunity for  young people to experience something totally differ.

Now I am siting  near the forest. There was nice red squirrel, running down for the nut, that I have left for her. That is the beauty of the Life.  To share. To share with others. There are many birds outside….. and Sun.  So, I am, sharing with you that Beauty.

So, with greetings, from being lost in the German forest, girl.

p.s. I want to apologize for my English… I am from Russia. That is my second language. Just wanted to share it in the way I feel.

And here are some videos, that I made for Grüne Schule grenzenlos

https://vimeo.com/user29712798