Have you ever...

Hello there reader,

I won't give you my name, but I will give some other facts about me, and you can decide if you want to spend more time here! Deal?

My favorite breakfast is, simply, cereals with milk, love to dance, to any rythmic sound, with special feelings for hypnotic vibes, alone or with a partner/s and I enjoy good pot (too soon?* hope not!!).

This is my first blog. Not sure why I am writing, but it feels right! :) My thoughts, which will fill this page, came to me as I was enjoying a great afternoon walk in Berlin, the city to be! My company of course, good natural herbs ;) A nice adventure, which might share in the future! 

As I wonder who are you, reader, what is your story and how does that make you feel, I have to give you a firm warning. I am not going to write about a funny experience, or some good humoured joke. Not about my day or my project. I am going to share with you some deeper and darker thoughts of my being. As I cover behind the anonimity (as if...) of the keyboard, I find the courage to ask you a very specific question, in order to unveil my answer:

Have you ever felt the touch of bottomless loneliness? 

Here is a good point to stop if the question seems to you stupid, sad, irrelevant or childish, since my goal is not to make you feel uncomfortable, but to actually reach out to you as a friend. So, if you are still here, then welcome to a dazed and confused mind!! :)

"""" What are you thinking when you project yourself, to the passers-by?

The world, around us, is in constant movement. Everybody goes somewhere, everybody is doing something. And you, in your loneliness, wanting to be, so intensely, a part of it* and while you shout to yourself "Yes you idiot!! Yes you are a part of the whole!!", endure, in silence, every moment of your life separated from it.

A soul-piercing feeling.. You do not know where you go or where you are... WHY?! you are...

Having succumbed under the heavy weight of your thoughts, your choices become chaotic. You start again pussing away memories, opportunities and, most importantly, people.. Pretending again that your situation is comfortable. Always want something else to enjoy, to experience, to be.  Nothing is authentic anymore.

I wonder, if others feel the same lonileness, as me. Just there, across me, where they stand, checking their many social media messages, or again when smiling to the person sitting next to them or even when dancing with somebody. Because if they feel the same, then they should know that I admire them. For their courage to look life in its beautifull eyes.

All I want is a hug, to hide and replenish my strength. My greatest need is a sense of belonging. 

Is it my giant ego that does not let me connect? Or is it, maybe, that I cannot comform with the absurdity of the "modern" world? Or is it that I am a coward? 

And while I breathe, I do not live... And while I am here, I want to be somewhere else and nowhere..."""

The trail of thoughts stops here. If you are still with me, then I thank you sincerely for your time and patience. And if, by any chance, felt the same or similar way, then we, simply, are not alone anymore. We are two, three, or maybe more.... I hope this makes you feel a little different than before we've met. I feel different already just by sharing this with you...

I take my leave. 

With thoughts of solidarity and love 

T.N.