Tested positive 10/11

Hi there, 

so October might have been the hardest month for me. When the community and our coordinator had reacted with an email back in March, and when we had the first positive test result in April, things were already quite serious. But after a while routine started to kick in? Lifting restrictions, changing quarantine rules, more freedom in movement etc. Until September: another lockdown was making its way.

During the last week of September I started feeling funny. More tired than usual, and I was completely without any energy. And then I got my period, so all made sense. A few days later I was feeling cold and warm, a blocked nose and blocked ears appeared and all I wanted was to rest. A whole week had passed and I started to feel pain in my chest. Which I had never experienced before. One of my colleagues asked me to call the GP and describe them my symptoms, "even if it's nothing, they might prescribe you something that eases the pain". Well, the GP said following to me "it's either a very heavy viral infection or it's the COVID virus, I would recommend to do a test, and go from there. But do give us a call if your situation should become worse".

It was a Saturday, and being in my state, tired, experiencing chest pain, not being able to swallow food (I was eating a piece of a toast, and when the piece reached my chest I started crying because of the pain), I spent the whole entire day on the phone. The line we were meant to be calling as I was living in the community and organization I was volunteering in, was busy. For hours and hours. Now I actually thing they don't operate on weekends. I informed the coordinator, and he kept saying I have to call the number. Which until today I don't understand, as it seemed easier online.

Eventually, after five or six hours?, I was 'allowed' to book my test online. The volunteers kept checking on me, especially my neighbors in my corridor as I was also feeling quite dizzy as well.

So, the next day, I was given a lift to the drive through testing area, came back and spent the whole day in bed. On the next morning I got a text. "Your 04 Oct COVID-19 test result is positive." Instead of digesting this information, I just informed every single person I was in "close contact" with during the past few days, my line manager, my group leader, the coordinator, my family, the other volunteers. It was overwhelming to actually understand the meaning of these few words, with the pain I was experiencing and on top thinking I was meant to be going home for a weekend. 

All of the volunteer had to stay in our house. We were fifteen volunteers, and my corner was another isolated area. My anxiety level was over the moon. Even now thinking back, I feel unease. But I am glad no one else showed symptoms (a few people have told me that it is very likely that I got it from another volunteer who didn’t show any symptoms, as I haven’t been really out of the community).

At one point we had a kettle, a portable cooktop and a fridge, and received a big bag of goods from Sainsburys. We eventually had our own PPE station. We were checking our temperature daily- I didn’t have any temperature, I wasn’t even coughing it started after the chest pain. And I was just worried all the time that my situation would worsen and I would have to go to the hospital or someone else would catch the virus.

The first two, three days were a bit strange for everyone involved, but eventually we all embraced it. The other volunteers not in the isolation corner were cooking for us- at least one warm big meal during the day- they would leave it in front of a door or just come and ask how we were doing through the glass door. I received care packages from my colleagues, the coordinator texted me every day, and our tutor was just the best support I could have asked for. Thank you. 

And I’m so grateful for the company I had. I felt bad for every single volunteer that had to be stuck in the house, but I am so happy that our intern isolation corner included my friends and me. As the isolation girls we had an internal pointing system. And this was laying down the roots for a manifesto. I might share some information on this later on. We were busy with Duolingo (two of us with Italian, one with German, and one simply stuck to English), we were watching series and films, one of my neighbors and I would be quite up early 6/7 and would enjoy a cup of coffee and read and enjoy the morning sun. We weren’t even talking but I will cherish these mornings and moments for ever.

After the isolation and quarantine I didn’t return to the house to work, I was at times very tired, and the GP said „it’s still a very new virus and people and bodies react to it differently“, and asked me to call her again, if I should show symptoms. I was very anxious in bigger groups, which sometimes meant four other people and me in the kitchen and all I wanted to do was leave which I usually did. I basically avoided groups. 

There was an art installation around the Titanic Quarter which was very nice, I must have seen it on instagram. It’s called „disappearing walls“. It’s interactive and celebrates Europe’s diversity of languages and ideas. It’s made out of blocks which can be taken home and they have quotes on them.

The organization was hosting a conference and the topic literally involved volunteers and volunteering. I had offered my help a few times but we as volunteers were not asked to participate in making, organizing, just being involved in the conference. Which I to this day find odd.

Halloween meant caring pumpkins and memories. There was a Halloween party in our house, but again, as it was a group thing and even though we are one household, I didn’t feel like joining. I was there briefly for a group picture and went to one of the rooms upstairs and talked to a friend over a video call and was actually joined by some of the volunteers.

Around the second week of November we were invited to a house of other volunteers in Belfast. It was very strange to be in another house and household again, and to actually meet new people after so long. Some volunteers from our organization met these volunteers on their OnArrivalTraining via zoom a week ago, and decided to meet in real life as well. When we were talking with them, I felt so sorry for all the other volunteers who had already left Northern Ireland at that point, and didn’t receive an OnArrivalTraining. They didn’t have the chance to meet up with other volunteers, even though we were all in Northern Ireland during these times. The other volunteers experienced the lockdown at home as the organization they were volunteering in was closed, or they went home for that period, whereas we were still working but were not allowed to leave the community. But we could have met online! 

One morning I couldn’t sleep, it was around half four, so I prepared myself a sandwich and walked to Helens Bay to see the sun rise.

There was another volunteer leaving us, and funny enough she was meant to be the last ESC volunteer from „our generation“ to leave Northern Ireland. She decided to go home a month earlier. Both her and me had arrived in December and we were meant to be staying a year, after March/April she became my next-door neighbor but if it wouldn’t be for the last few months we wouldn’t have become close and eventually friends. I was very sad to see her leave, especially after spending an intense two weeks because of the quarantine situation after my positive test result. We went on a last stroll in Holywood, had dinner the night before, went for a few hours to the library and were eating pancakes at two o’clock in the morning in the kitchen. 

A week later, my first friend from this ESC experience left. I met her during the OA-training last December in Bushmills. These two girls are sharing the same name. What are the odds to say farewell to them both in a month? 

One of the new volunteers had asked me if I could show her around Belfast „as you know Belfast the best, I will invite you for a nice coffee“. Off we went on a Thursday morning. It was actually quite cold, and I got worried that I might get sick, but we kept on moving, so it was fine eventually. We had some very sweet squares from Sawers, and our way to get some coffee, I found a ten pound note. We got coffee from the Pocket, and went to the benches in front of the City Hall. It was actually nice morning with sunshine.

And the last few days of November meant 1.Advent and bell ringers concert in the community, an international walk along the coast of Bangor with some new volunteers from Belfast and Bangor, and St.Andrews Days dinner in the community. At that point we were over twenty volunteers in the organization. It was a nice evening and get together and the host was our Scottish tutor, as we had some new people arriving in the last few weeks. But at the same time while I was looking into the round, I was also quite happy that I was going home soon- I had booked my flight. And I was spending my last two weeks in Northern Ireland.